Thursday, February 26

Scripture: Luke 22:54-62
Then they seized him and led him away, bringing him into the high priest's house, and Peter was following at a distance. And when they had kindled a fire in the middle of the courtyard and sat down together, Peter sat down among them. Then a servant girl, seeing him as he sat in the light and looking closely at him, said, “This man also was with him.” But he denied it, saying, “Woman, I do not know him.” And a little later someone else saw him and said, “You also are one of them.” But Peter said, “Man, I am not.” And after an interval of about an hour still another insisted, saying, “Certainly this man also was with him, for he too is a Galilean.” But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

THE DENIAL OF PETER

The problem with being an extrovert (and believe me, I know!) is that “In an abundance of words, there is no absence of sin”.  So often I drive home after a day of classes and meetings praying: “Lord, let them forget what I said that wasn’t from You.” The Apostle Peter was an extrovert too, and opinionated words tumbled un-checked from his mouth. Eighteen times in the Gospels (18!) he is reported as moving against what Jesus was saying or doing, the disciple correcting the Master.  Peter thought he knew Jesus and Peter thought he knew who Jesus should be and what Jesus should do.

Peter also thought he knew himself, and he had a high view of ‘peterness’. Earlier in the day Peter had assured Jesus that he was ready to go to prison and die with him (that was before he’d fallen asleep while Jesus prayed in the Garden), and Jesus – knowing Peter – told him that Peter would deny even knowing him thrice before the night was over.  So who knows who here?

Here then we see Peter following his arrested Master as he had promised, being seen in the light of a fire as he huddles in the cold and dark with others in the courtyard. All four Gospels tell us that as Peter’s face is illuminated, he is recognized by servant girls and bystanders as being ‘with Jesus’, and they insistently accuse him of this relationship.  And with cursing and intensity Peter denies his Lord and Master three times, with “I do not know Him!” as LoPiccolo’s song poignantly shouts.

And as the words still wet with spit shoot from Peter’s lips, he hears the rooster crow announcing the dawning of a new day, and his Lord Jesus turns and looks at him.  And Peter looks back at Jesus and remembers.  Here Peter is literally “re-membered” and re-integrated with his split-off self, the part of himself that he has denied but that Jesus has known.  And now Peter, caught in the light of his Master’s knowing eyes, can see and recognize himself: “Oh! I see me. Oh! I see You seeing me. Ohhh!  Oh no!” We learn to recognize our true selves when we are mirrored in the faithful eyes of another.  This is how people grow and mature. This is how Peter is growing and maturing.

Think of how many times Jesus and Peter had looked at each other: walking on water together, passing out loaves and fishes together, being on the Mount of Transfiguration together, and hiking along for miles and miles together.  And as he watched the Lord and followed Him, Peter learned to know Jesus better and he learned to know himself better too.  But part of Peter’s heart was hidden to him until this event; unknown to Peter, but not to Jesus.  And in this moment the light dawns and Peter’s knowledge of himself and his knowledge of Jesus are clarified.  Here’s the good news: seeing himself and seeing Jesus, Peter responds properly by repenting and weeping bitterly. His knowledge of himself finally matches Jesus’ knowledge of him and that self-knowing causes Peter great grief because he truly loves Jesus, though at times he truly loves himself and his own preservation more than he loves Jesus: in fact Peter was not yet ready to die for Jesus. And this caused Peter pain.

Today’s passage ends here with this repentant sobbing Peter.  But thanks be to God, Jesus knew all of Peter’s heart and He knew His loving plans for this ex-fisherman who would become the spokesman and a shepherd in the Church.  Knowing Peter, Jesus had plans for this newly-humbled opinionated extrovert.  We hear a wiser Peter in his later words: “May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.  His divine power has granted to us all that pertains to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him  who called us to His own glory and excellence…” (2 Peter 1:2-3).  This older Peter knows Jesus and will, in fact, follow Him to the death.

PRAYER
Lord, nothing is going right tonight. In despair my soul has turned to the dark, with deceitful heart and crooked thoughts. I didn’t think I was capable of this. With selfish words I have denied my Savior. In weakness with fear I have sinned and betrayed the one I love. I feel like giving up. You know I can’t sink any lower. Forgive me Lord for loving myself more than you. With tears of remorse I cry out for your help and compassion. Do not abandon me. Like the prodigal son I long for your tender embrace and unconditional acceptance. Set my burdened spirit free.  Amen.

Betsy Barber, Professor or Spirituality and Psychology