Day 51 - Thursday, April 20
Jesus and Doubting Thomas
Scripture: John 20:24-29
Now Thomas, one of the twelve, called the Twin, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.” Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”

Poetry:
"Adore Te"
by Marie J. Post
With my heart I worship,
O hidden Deity.
Thou that dost hide Thyself
Beneath these images
In full reality.

My heart submits to Thee,
Yea, all my thought:
For contemplating Thee,
All else is naught.

I cannot touch, I cannot taste, I cannot see.
All sense is cheated of Thee, but the ear.
The Son of God hath spoken: I believe:
For naught hath truth beyond the world I hear.

Upon the cross Thy Deity was hid,
And here is hidden Thy humanity:
Yet here I do acknowledge both and cry,
As the thief cried to Thee on Calvary.

I do not gaze, like Thomas, on Thy wounds,
But I confess Thee God.
Give me a stronger faith, a surer hope,
More love to Thee, my Lord.

O thou memorial of the dying Lord,
O living Bread that givest life to men,
Make strong my soul that it may live by Thee,
And for all sweetness turn to Thee again.

O Christ that gave Thy heart to feed Thy young,
Cleanse Thou my foulness in Thy blood was spilt.
One single drop of it would save a world,
A whole world from its guilt.

The veil is on Thy face: I cannot see.
I cry to Thee for grace,
That that may come to pass for which I thirst,
That I may see Thee with Thy face unveiled,
And in that vision rest.

JESUS AND DOUBTING THOMAS

Imagine being one of the original twelve disciples. Imagine knowing Jesus intimately: His voice, His smell, His food preferences, His jokes. Imagine seeing all that they saw Him do. We, or at least I, am tempted to idealize this experience, but following Jesus was clearly not a cheerful joy-filled walk for the Apostle Thomas.  We’ve seen Thomas earlier in John 11, saying to the others as Jesus heads toward Jerusalem: “Let’s go with him so that we may die with him.”  How I appreciate honest Thomas in his darkened mind, carrying his own storm-cloud with him. Thomas is the original Eeyore, or Puddleglum.  He was one of the first to know that following Jesus involved death and not glory here on earth, and he followed anyway. Thomas was faithful and committed, even in that melancholy, gloomy way of his. And the Lord Jesus welcomed his devotion, taking time to explain the resurrection to his mournful disciple.

Speaking Thomas’ dialect, adapting Himself to Thomas’s emotional and cognitive needs, Jesus says to Thomas: “Here! stick your finger in my side.” The intimacy of this invitation! “Touch my insides, my blood and guts, my un-healed wounds from this life,” says Jesus.

But why are we surprised by this invitation? Our Lord is always more willing to be close than we are.  He knows our need to be convinced, to have our own epistemological experience: “I’ll believe it when I see it!” says Thomas.  And so say we all, echoing him down through the centuries.  So our loving Lord and Friend, our ever-living Big Brother says, “okay.” And He comes and makes His home in our physical bodies through His Spirit, He invites us (even commands us) to drink His blood and eat His body in the Eucharistic feast.  Jesus is not squeamish; He will literally go to any lengths to have union with us. He died to make us His. He is all about closeness.

As today’s Scripture passage tells us, depressed Thomas, pragmatic Thomas, was unable to believe the resurrection glory even when all the other disciples told him about it.  One thing we know for sure—Thomas was not one of the Emmaus-road disciples (who didn’t recognize Jesus until He re-played the Last Supper for them). If Thomas had been on the road to Emmaus with Jesus, depressed Thomas would have noticed the wounds!  

Apostle Thomas, having met the newly-risen Lord and touched His innards, was now transformed. He had a message and a mission from the ascended Christ: Go and make disciples!  And so Thomas the obedient, Thomas the committed and faithful—went. He went as far as he could to the ends of the earth and evangelized half a continent! He became: “Saint Thomas, Apostle to India,” the energetic Spirit-filled proclaimer of the risen Christ.

Today’s icon well-demonstrates Thomas’ transformation. The artist has written Thomas with his eyes seeing into the distance, wearing the red robe of a martyr, the white robe of purity, and the blue of humanity.  Here Thomas, anointed and empowered with the Holy Spirit, has a Pentecostal flame on his head. He raises his right hand in blessing while with his left, he presents the central affirmation of his life: Jesus is “my Lord and my God.”  Note the traditional “Jerusalem cross,” with the five-cross design representing the five wounds of Christ and also symbolizing the spread of the Gospel to the four corners of the earth.

So “Doubting Thomas” becomes “St. Thomas, Apostle to India.” With Thomas, notice how recognizing and knowing Jesus changes our name, our identity—we become our true selves, mirrored in His eyes. This is our future glory. We too will see the resurrected Jesus face-to-face and then we shall know ourselves as He knows us fully.  As today’s poet Marie Post says: “That I may see Thee with Thy face unveiled, And in that vision rest.” With Thomas, we will look into His eyes and say: “Oh! It is You, my Lord and my God!” And, “Oh! It is me, Your beloved!” And all our questions are answered, all our doubts are gone. And we enter our heavenly joy-filled rest.  Thanks be to God!

PRAYER:
Here we are, Lord: Your disciples.  You’ve called us as we are, hopeful or grumpy, to follow You. So we present our bodies to You today. May Your Kingdom come and Your will be done in us and by us. And we pray too, for the people of India, beloved by Thomas and by You.  May Your Kingdom, Your rule and reign, spread there, too.
In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Betsy A. Barber, PsyD
Assc. Director Institute for Spiritual Formation,
Talbot School of Theology
Director Center for Spiritual Renewal, Biola University
Assc. Professor, Talbot School of Theology